story of my life
You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope he likes his too.
Today was the day that was marked in remembrance of your life. It was so strange seeing you again. When I saw you lying there peacefully, I expected you to wake up and to embrace us warmly as you usually do as if nothing ever happened. But you didn’t move. Not even a budge. I lay my hand on your hand and it no longer felt the same.. it was a feeling that I couldn’t describe. It was almost as if it was a sudden moment of realization.. that you were sleeping. But you were sleeping forever and you were never going to wake up. My knees and hands started to tremble and I couldn’t help but break into tears. I just wished that you’d suddenly just get up and I’d be able to see the smile on your face that I’ll always remember which could brighten up anyone’s day. I swear. And in that moment I was so full of sorrow and regret. I regret not telling you so many things that I now wish I said to you before when you were still here. But I know you’re up there looking down on me.. and you’re smiling. I can’t forget you. You’re always on my mind and whenever something happens, you’re the first person I want to tell. And because of you, I can’t seem to find anybody else important to me anymore. You’re the only person I wish I could spend countless hours talking to again. I miss you so so so much, you’d never be able to understand even if I could tell you how much it was. You meant the world to me and you still do.. but I just can’t accept that you’re no longer with me. Please give me the strength to keep going. I need a reason. My only reason to keep going is you..